


NEVERMIND

by Dreamyfairytale



Category: bts
Genre: Happy Ending, M/M, little angst, minjoon - Freeform, nammin
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-28
Updated: 2019-09-08
Packaged: 2019-09-29 05:56:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,162
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17197811
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dreamyfairytale/pseuds/Dreamyfairytale
Summary: Engraving something on your skin could be pretty big deal, for Jimin it was important. He has thought about it couple of times, in midst of movies or when he's panting after dance rehearsals, each time his mind drifted to needle buzz and the pain his friend narrated while getting tattooed. One day Jimin finally decides to act upon his thoughts. Now, on the way to tattoo ink on his skin, some feelings are evoked, and he doesn’t know how to deal with them.-------------





	1. Selfish

**Author's Note:**

> Hi Moonfairies,
> 
> This is something I have drabbled based on an idea I had after coming across a tweet. Hope you enjoy reading it.  
> Happy Reading.

\------2018-------  
He is used to thinking calmly in a loud environment. Being idol helps you in that way, even within crowd’s cheers you have to focus on the way choreography develops. Compared to them, mild chatters and buzzing of needles are nothing for Jimin. But still, he hasn't been able to focus, not able to decide on the patterns of ink. He has thought about it for a long time, discussed with every member of bts, but never talked about what to tattoo. he never felt the need to look up for designs. The mere thought of having a tattoo on his body was a foreign concept itself, now when he is sitting in tattoo shop with tons of designs, Jimin feels anxious .

“An idol life isn't easy “, His Contemporary teacher had said. He was understanding the meaning of not being easy through all these years. Right now, sitting in the middle of the tattoo shop under scrutinizing gaze of his manager and tattoo artist, his teacher came up in mind. Jimin liked to think how things would be different if he wasn't an idol. He had spent nights over thinking and listing down perks of it. another one is added today. After flipping through pages of drawings mindlessly, he thinks about how easy it would be if he wasn't an idol. Maybe he would just tattoo random bird or some meaningful lyrics of a song or maybe a doodle. His manager, Hungsuk, calmly rubs his shoulder,” Jiminah, let's take these drawings home, we can decide later. you don't have to do it now. “ 

Jimin knows he is right, rather than thinking on the verge and regretting something for whole life, he should wait for some time. As of sensing his approval, the tattoo artist in front of him speaks, “take these home and come back later. you can also think about any concept, we can work around a bit and give you something beautiful.”  
Jimin smiles in appreciation, this artist has made him comfortable with kind eyes. “What does that mean”, He points towards Artist’s upper arm where some words are written near a small ship, wild blue waves emerging around are covering that ship almost. 

Artist looks on his upper arm, then he shifts chair so that Jimin could see it better, “This one, the words are in French, it says Have faith, this is one lonely ship fighting with the cruel sea but never losing hope. It means to keep fighting, never lose hope. My mom was French, she used to tell me this story of the ship going through the longest sea. despite never reaching the shore, Ship had hope, she kept fighting for years and years”

“So, did she find shore?”

“No. My mom said It isn't about finding the shore but living through storms in search of happiness.”

Hyunsuk speaks first, “It's beautiful”

Artist beams, “It is. My favorite artist did this for me, so it holds deeper meaning”

Artist looks back at jimin again, “Do you have any such thing in mind, which helps you go forward or makes you happy”

Jimin inhales sharply, his mind painting one scene. He looks back at Hyunsuk, “I have decided”

Artist takes no time in making arrangements and printing the sticker of a word. he rips the sticker off from Jimin’s skin after some time and the words are marked over, Jimin slightly traces them with a finger, he can see those black markings on the mirror kept in front. Artist chimes happily, “Now we are going to trace that with our needle, are you nervous?” 

Jimin glances at his equipment and buzzing needle, “a little”

He tells Jimin to ignore the pain and think about something else as he starts with needle over marking.

Jimin's mind replays the first time he felt attracted to black ink. Jimin has seen people going over their tattoos and recalling their good memories, a reminder of moments they never want to forget or the reminder of things they used to love or still love dearly. Jimin was always fascinated listening to such stories, he wanted to have a story of his own too.  
He tunes out buzzing and focuses on background music in the store, words are foreign but music is calming. It reminds Jimin of his hyung’s music.

\-----2013-----

“So, hobie and kook left you alone and went shopping for Jin hyung’s birthday”

Jimin huffs a little, “They are mean, they think I will steal their gift idea like I haven't already ordered my gift month ago”

Namjoon smiles sleepily, “Hobie loves you Jimin, he will hug you as soon as he comes back and then smother you with kissing sounds”

“This time I won’t give in his kisses”, Jimin replies glancing at table clock. It’s 11.00 pm. “Hyung, aren't you coming back tonight”

“No minnie, I have this composition to finish. you should find yoongi hyung, he will come with you”, Namjoon rubs his eyes tiredly. Jimin wants to pull his hands away, he shouldn't stress his eyes.

Jimin ponders upon his choices. If he lies that yoongi hyung already said no then Namjoon would accompany him till dorm or maybe instead of lying he can try heart eyes. He decides on latter.  
Stretching his eyes little wide, he pouts a little, “Hyung, please come home. you haven't been home for two days, we all are worried about you”, he tugs Namjoon’s hand.

Jimin immediately knows he succeeded because Namjoon averts eyes from Jimin, unable to make eye contact with innocent dongsaeng asking him to come home. “minnie, you know we have awards season lined up later, I don't have much time to finish this, please let me work.”

It hurts a little. He couldn’t convince Namjoon. Jimin knows Namjoon is a perfect leader who gives priority to his team intead of personal needs. Jimin has seen him taking care of Taehyung many times despite being tired, at times he even felt jealous of how much close they two are. Jimin couldn’t help but think that Namjoon would have agreed if taehyung had been requesting.  
He pulls one last weapon, “If you come with me now, I promise to maintain practice timings for one week”

Jimin has been practicing for upcoming awards period from last one moth. Very often, he has lost track of time and all members were worried that he is overworking. Jimin knows his body, he knows if he doesn't practice well now, his body will disappoint him on stage. He can't offer any single mistake, delivering a perfect stage is important.

“How about two weeks?”

Jimin gives him narrowed eyes look but feels the warmth inside, Namjoon is coming home with him.

Namjoon gives weak smile in return and finally stands up from the chair, “Ok, let's go, but don't complain when we take the longest route to walk home”

“Let’s go”, Jimin grins in the victory. 

As Namjoon is putting up equipment’s away, Jimin’s mind floats to the performance they have been working on. Amidst all awards, MAMA is superior and he has the special stage to perform in MAMA.

“Hyung?”

“hmm”

“What is Nevermind?”

Namjoon looks up after shutting off computer, his eyes little amused, “you don't know what it means?”

“I know what it means hyung, director nim has explained to me, but I want to hear it from you” 

“hmm”, Namjoon hums after some time.

“It has several meanings, can be used in different situations, like when you ask kook for a favor and then you decide you don't need that anymore or When jin hyung will thank you for the gift, you can say nevermind instead of it's no big deal"

Jimin has propped elbows on empty space near the keyboard, his face resting on opened palms, Director nim has told him these meanings but also something else.  
“It also can be used when you no longer want to pay attention to your doubtful mind who keeps stressing you for performance"

Namjoon slowly raises his hand and puts on Jimin's chest, near his heart, "Tell your kind heart, nevermind, MAMA is the biggest stage and we have to deliver best but nevermind there is no need to practice in nights and torture your body.”

Jimin’s eyes still on hand rested his chest, now barely touching against his body.

“Jiminah”

Jimin looks up to find Namjoon staring at him worried eyes. He feels Namjoon’s hand pulling away and resting on Jimin’s hand.

“Tell your mind, to stop minding past mistakes, to stop worrying over every small fall happened during practice, to stop torturing body with nightlong practices and- “, Jimin has already averted eyes, unable to match the intensity of Namjoon’s eyes.

“We all care about your minnie, we don’t want you to overwork yourself, you're a great dancer and we all know you will do great on stage. Promise me you will take care of yourself and come to hyung first if anything bad happens”

Jimin moves forward a bit and wraps Namjoon in an awkward hug.

People around him have warned before. They told him enough stories about how the thirst towards perfection could destroy health and lead to darkest paths. Jimin never thought he would cross that limit, but recently everyone’s worried eyes are following him. Making him doubt if it's too late, are they worried about seeing Jimin’s little slip during practice or do they think he’s not capable enough to deliver solo stage? Namjoon slowly caresses his back and Jimin breaks out of from these chain of thoughts.  
Right now, he is happy. He is hopeful that whatever nightmare everyone has been warning him about won't touch him, won't summon him. He is happy, If Namjoon believes him then whatever this thing in his head, won't hurt him for long, he will win over it. He remembers how he came here in first place to get Namjoon out of the studio and make him rest. he should get up now because they have long road to walk home but maybe Jimin could be little selfish and let himself be in hyung’s warmth for a little more time.


	2. Ship within storms

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Reading

Jimin wasn’t good with promises. Before he left from the hotel, Jungkook told him to get lamb skewers and Jimin promised him to pick it up from Jungkook’s favorite restaurant. Now as he is standing in front of Jungkook’s room, he doesn’t know what to excuse to give. how can he explain, he was overwhelmed to ink his skin and slipped into memories that he didn’t even notice when they reached back the hotel. The skin where his new tattoo was inked, is still itching little. The artist, Jack, who’s name Jimin asked while leaving the shop, has given him all the instructions to not use hot water or to not rub that skin.

He enters the room without knocking, at this point they are used to invading each other’s privacy anyway. He comes across Taehyung and Jungkook sprawled on floor, chips packet littered around them and both being busy on mobile watching anime. On bed Jin is sitting cross-legged playing games, controller cables wound around his legs and judging from his facial expressions, he is seconds away from screaming and giving up.

“Hey brats”, Jimin calls out.

Jin notices him first and makes a whining sound, “Aahh, Jiminie you ruined hyung’s game, now I just have to end this game”

Jimin rolls eyes at Jin’s antics, “you were going to quit anyway hyung, aren’t you excited to see my tattoo?”

“I get to see first”, Taehyung comes beside him with a full grin, “I might have already texted Hyunsuk hyung and got to know what is it”

“Aaah tae, you’re no fun”, Jimin brushes him aside and sits on the bed.

“What is it hyung, tell me too”, Jungkook asks taehyung eager to know.

“Why don’t you just look at the actual thing, Jiminah show us'’, Jin orders him.

Jimin stands up with excitement and reaches towards the hem of t-shirt to pull it upwards until the ink on his right side just below the ribs is visible.

Taehyung touches it first, “Wow, it is real”

Jungkook slightly shoves taehyung aside, “Of course it is real tae”

Jungkook’s eyes are curious as his finger brushes over each letter, “N-E-V Oh, isn’t it that tattoo you had on for MAMA stage 3 years back”

Jin pushes both of taehyung and Jungkook, comes to an eye level with the tattoo, “Oh it’s that tattoo only, what is it, nevermind, right I remember that”

“We never knew that word meant so much to you Jimin”, Taehyung speaks, his eyes examining the ink.

“yeah, it means something like stop worrying or it’s no big thing”, Jin gives his input.

Jungkook comes forward and wraps Jimin in a hug, his finger resting on the back of Jimin’s head, “Hyung, you did it finally, you wanted to do it for a long time”

Jimin only replies with a small nod as he settles nose between Jungkook’s neck. After smelling the ink and strong perfumes in the shop for long time, breathing in familiar smell feels home. Taehyung soon hugs him from back and Jin starts caressing his head. They all know, they know how hard it was for Jimin to convince himself then convince the company to let him have permanent ink on his skin. He is grateful that they didn’t pester more for meaning. After some time when Jimin grabs half-filled chip’s pocket and stands up to leave, Jin asks, “Are you going to show it to others?”

“yeah, I asked hobie hyung, they are in yoongi hyung’s room so, I will just show them and come back to play overwatch”

“Come soon, these dongsaeng always team up on me, I need someone on my side to beat their asses”

As if on cue, taehyung and Jungkook give a mean smirk and Jin replies them with narrowed eyes look.

Snickering over their stare match, Jimin closes the door. While leaving, he doesn’t miss, Jungkook asking about lamb skewers. He would just have to make up for this time by treating him in a big restaurant for dinner.

When he enters Yoongi’s room, Namjoon is already sitting on the floor, his eyes furrowed on the notebook lying in his lap, hoseok in front of him with a laptop perched in his lap and yoongi sitting on a chair in front of a table covered up with music sheets.

Yoongi notices him and raises one eyebrow in question, Jimin enters and goes straight to yoongi, “Hi hyung, I wanted to show you all something”

“Jiminah, you are back, tae sent me pictures, that words look cool”, Hoseok shouts from the floor.

“What word?”, Namjoon questions. Jimin comes near the pair and sits on his knees. “This word”, he proudly pulls t-shirt upward, Hoseok gasps a little and run fingers over it smoothly, “Did it hurt”

Jimin answers immediately, “Not at all”

Hoseok pinches Jimin’s cheeks, “Aww our mochi has grown up, he doesn't feel pain”

Namjoon snickers while yoongi gets up from chair to analyze tattoo with narrowed eyes. He bends little and then pats Jimin’s head, “Hyung is proud of you”, and goes back waddling to sit on a chair.

Jimin grins at hyung’s antics before turning to Namjoon. He meets Jimin’s eyes, “Nevermind”, His voice comes out in a whisper. He gives a small smile and pats on side gently. Jimin wastes no time in crawling next to Namjoon.

Namjoon doesn’t touch it but his amused eyes go over ink, “It looks good Jiminah, I never knew- “

Jimin cuts him off, “I never got to tell you”, Namjoon snaps his face to meet Jimin’s eyes.

Jimin is shocked at his own outburst, he can sense gears in Namjoon’s head turning as worry becomes prominent on his features. He must have sensed how these things link to something important to Jimin and he never shared that with Namjoon. 

Jimin immediately diverts his attention, “Hyung, what are you writing?”

Namjoon confusedly looks down at his notebook while hoseok answers, “We are working on the concept for next comeback. Bang Pd nim has given one vague concept, we are working on details”

“Oh, well if anyone wants to join us for games, we are in Kook’s room”, Jimin hastily gets up from the bed, running towards the door.

“Jimin”, Namjoon’s voice halts him at door. He is scared Namjoon will make him stay, ask him what he never told Namjoon.

When he looks back, Namjoon's eyes are filled up with worry, “Don’t stay up too late, we have practice early tomorrow”

Jimin flashes him grin, “Yes leader nim”

He rushes out from the room with heart loudly beating. Namjoon will know, he will know why Jimin chose it. He would want to know why Jimin had never told him in the first place. Over the years, they have seen each other at worst places and Namjoon never judged him for any of it. Namjoon has spent enough days worrying over him, Jimin doesn’t want to add any burden now.

Maybe Jimin should talk to him, let him know there is nothing to worry. He remembers their long talk before Jimin told the company about willing to ink. Namjoon only encouraged him, he always did. Jimin decides to talk with him, after all, If anyone deserves to know why did he choose that word, Its Namjoon.

It's around 1 am as Jimin stands in the hallway, in front of Namjoon’s room. He presses the button and waits till he hears shuffling behind the door. The door opens to reveal Namjoon in pajamas and thick glasses settled on his nose. Maybe he was completing the book, he purchased online few days go, Jimin should ask him later what is it about.  
“Jimin, you haven’t slept?”, Jimin slightly pushes Namjoon aside and enters the room nonchalantly, “Neither did you”, He feigns confidence as he sits on the edge of bed. Namjoon sits beside him gently, “Do you want to talk?”

Jimin chuckles at that, Namjoon always knows what Jimin wants. Maybe he was expecting Jimin. “Were you expecting me?”

Namjoon shakes head with a smile and removes glasses to place them on the bedside table, “Hmm, I am listening”

“I thought you would want to know the story behind my choice of the word”, Jimin doesn’t want to sound nervous but his voice comes out small.

Namjoon looks him in eyes, “Only if you want Minnie”, his hand comes to rest on small on Jimin’s hand. Jimin inhales deeply before starting, “I went with hyunsuk hyung to the famous shop downtown, there were many cool artists, each of them covered in colorful tattoos, the owner introduced us to one artist, Jack. He took us in the back side of the shop and showed us various designs from which I was supposed to settle on one. 

Namjoon looks at him sincerely. Jimin turns little towards him so that he can look him directly in eyes.

“I was so confused by all those designs. they were great but overwhelming. Even a small patch of design felt suffocating, I felt if I engrave them on my skin, those black marks will cover my entire body, whenever I will watch myself in the mirror, that black ink will be the only prominent thing I will notice”

Namjoon’s thumb slowly started rubbing on his knuckles and Jimin feels relieved after putting up those emotions in words.

“Jack was very kind, he encouraged me to look on some more designs, asked if I have any particular concept in mind. Jack and Hyunsuk hyung tolerated my indecisiveness for almost one hour, I was just flipping through designs and not able to decide anything”

Namjoon smiles little, “It’s okay Jimin, you are engraving something for life, there is nothing wrong in taking time”

Jimin smiles in return and continues, “Jack had one interesting tattoo on upper arm. It was ship sailing in wild waves of the sea and some words were written above it in French. Jack told me those words were about having hope. His mother used to tell him about the ship moving through worst storms of the sea in darkest nights in the hope of finding the stable shore. He told me it wasn’t about reaching to shore but traveling through the storm, going forward and fighting current situation with the hope of a brighter future.”  
“That is meaningful”, Namjoon gave him smile with dimples.

Jimin tried hard not to stare at them.

“yeah it was and then he told me, it was inked on his skin by his favorite artist so it held deeper meaning”

“Then?”

Jimin takes a break before continuing. He looks down on their hand intertwined, amused but not surprised. When He looks up, Namjoon is staring at them too.  
“Hyung, what made Jack go forward in tough situations? Was it that tattoo? Was it reminder of the ship who had the courage to face storms and never lose hope? Was it His mother? Is it because whenever he looked at that tattoo, he remembered mother teaching him not to lose hope by telling ship’s story? Did he feel his mother was still there with him telling those stories? Was it his favorite artist who drew it on his skin? Did he feel a tattoo as a presence of his favorite artist encouraging him to fight for life? Was it that story of a ship or the people around that story? Was it an object or a person?”

“Jim- “

Jimin cuts him off, “Hyung, Is it wrong to use a person as a ray of hope every time darkness engulfs? Is it selfish to hold onto that person for long so you won’t feel alone and weak? Is it manipulative to use that person whenever their presence is required? Is it wrong to ink their memories on our body so even if they are away, we can still feel their presence?”

“Jimin, It's not wrong. Why are you thinking so hard, what happened?”

“Hyung, what if I use someone’s memory to ink on my body but it's not enough? What if it's not enough and now I want to feel their physical presence? What if I can't force that person to be in my life whenever I fuck up? What if that person gets fed up with my negativity and leaves me?”

Jimin suddenly feels arms wrap around him and grip on his shoulders tight. Namjoon is holding him as if he will vanish. he rests head on Namjoon’s shoulder and realizes there are tears are prickling in his eyes. 

“Jimin, I can’t understand completely but it’s not wrong to have someone as hope, isn’t that something we all humans do? Depend on each other for light? Because the universe is big but we humans are the only creatures who can understand each others pain better. So, if you consider someone as your light who is helping you, to sail that ship within storms, it’s not wrong. One human reaching out to others in need of light can never be selfish”

Jimin feels Namjoon’s grip becoming loose, in the fear that he will pull away, Jimin hugs him tightly.

“What if that person doesn’t want to be there? What if he leaves me?”, Before Jimin can finish the sentence, sob loudly comes out of his mouth. The fear of not having Namjoon by his side gets him.

His crying must have broken Namjoon, because his voice sounds on the edge “minnie, please tell me how can I make you feel better?”

Jimin answers without thinking, “Don’t let go Hyung. Never.”

He meets silence. Namjoon starts pulling away.

but Jimin only holds him tight, whispering between tears, “Please don’t”

A part of him fears that Namjoon would pull away and demand answers but Namjoon only wraps him in a bone-crushing hug. As if he is telling Jimin to believe, to believe that Namjoon will hold onto him, no matter what happens.

Jimin stays with Namjoon, hugging him, for hours, when he feels sleep taking over him in Namjoon’s arms, he nuzzles further in Namjoon’s neck. Jimin doesn't feel selfish anymore.

 

“So, I heard you slept in leader's bed”, Hoseok smirks.

“Kim Taehyung, I will kill you”, Jimin launches himself to hit taehyung with a pillow but he ducks in time. Hoseok starts laughing and taehyung joins him to mock jimin.  
“Hyung, you should have seen Namjoon’s hyung’s face, He was terrified that infant baby in his arms would wake up if he moves even single inch, Jimin was practically in his lap”  
“Shut up tae”, this time Jimin succeeds into hitting him with a pillow.” Stop spreading rumors, I did not sleep like an infant and in my defense, I was tired”

Hoseok shakes head in sympathy, “Poor joonie, had to let a grown-up infant sleep in his bed while he shared a bed with Yoongi hyung. Can you imagine the level of courage it takes to disturb yoongi at two am?”

“That was scary but I and joon huyng managed to convince yoongi hyung but I still think yoongi hyung will ask jimin to repay for disturbing his sleep”, Taehyung speaks up getting under covers to sleep.

“Anyways I am going to wash up but when I come back, both of you should be out of this room, enough playing around in hyung’s room.’, Hoseok smacks taehyung lightly on arm.  
Taehyung whines, “but hyung, your bed is comfy”

Hoseok replies while entering washroom, “Then switch your room with mine”

Taehyung fake gasps, “No way, my room has better air conditioning”

Jimin slides under covers beside taehyung, he will just take a small nap till hoseok comes out.

When his eyes start drooping, Taehyng’s voice jolts him awake, “Talk to him”

Eyes half-lidded, Jimin asks, “Who?”

“Namjoon”

Jimin is now wide awake, “why?”

“Come on chim, I saw you both being awkward from the morning. Last night, you were attached to him like a koala, hyung was also reluctant to let you go and suddenly in the morning you two are avoiding each other.”

“No, we are not tae, you are thinking too much, go to sleep”, Jimin turns on another side so he doesn’t have to face taehyung and the answers he is looking for. He woke up in Namjoon’s bed this morning, confused about his whereabouts. Taehyng’s messages on his phone told him how taehyung found him sleeping in Namjoon’s arms. When they all went to dance practice, he approached Namjoon first to talk but he avoided jimin.

He feels a hand sneaking around his stomach and tucking him near the solid chest, “I trust you chim but still its Namjoon hyung, he is sensitive.”

Jimin doesn’t reply and pretends to sleep.

“Who I am telling? You know him better”, Taehyung murmurs sleepily.

Jimin knows him better. Better than anyone else. Maybe that is why he is avoiding Namjoon. He knows neither of them would be able to handle Jimin’s feelings.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed.


	3. Lost and Found

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jimin realizes he needs Namjoon, he needs his home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was just a small update hopefully I will finish this fic with next update tomorrow

Jimin has been trying to perfect this move from long time, it has gotten to point where his joints have started aching and after every ten minutes his throat starts getting thirsty for water They all have been rehearsing for a performance at MAMA award show, all other members except Hoseok and Namjoon has left.

  
Jimin’s attention shifts to Hoseok talking with their choreographer, Hoseok always had stayed with him till end of practice maybe it has been a protective gesture because Jimin often tends to go overboard with his practice hours. It was something he couldn’t control in past but now he has set strict rules for himself, on some days he allows his body to go against those rules, on the days like today.  
Their performance is next week and Jimin still hasn’t mastered this move, it is solo piece of him in bangtan’s routine and Jimin has to perform it properly, their increasing popularity has come with immense pressure, they have to deliver their best.

  
Now practice would have been easy, he could have paid more attention to every body move and finished it fifteen minutes ago but Namjoon sitting in one corner and his piercing eyes following his each move is very distracting. He is trying very hard not to let it affect him, but Namjoon’s eyes are making him more conscious, every time their eyes met in mirror, Jimin was the one who averted eyes away. It’s not new for him, Namjoon and JIn often observe them, when Hoseok, Jungkook and he dances. Jin says it helps them to improve their dancing skill more. Jimin is used to it but the way Namjoon is staring today, it is making him uncomfortable. They haven’t talked to each other since Jimin’s breakdown moment, they have been avoiding spending alone time, each time someone leaves them alone in one room, one of them makes excuse to get out of it. Jimin has started to blame himself for making their friendship awkward though he has belief their friendship is stronger than that. He had made promise to himself to talk to Namjoon but so far, he hasn’t succeeded.  
He feels his eyes getting sleepy, he opens them wide again and tries to move his hands slowly observing how each movement is reflecting in mirror, after doing it for two to three times he feels satisfied. He goes to over to side table and picks up his drinking bottle. He is emptying bottle when he feels eyes on him again, he looks towards Namjoon to find his eyes staring at him. This time Jimin doesn’t avert his gaze and stares at him back with same intensity.

  
Namjoon suddenly starts blinking hard and breaks eye contact. Something snaps inside Jimin, he empties whole bottle and slams it down on table with little too much of force. He feels relieved that only Namjoon noticed. He walks towards Namjoon and plops down beside him. Namjoon’s wide surprised eyes meet him and something about it makes Jimin feel powerful. He looks at Hoseok from the corner of his eye, he looks busy in some serious discussion judging by the way his eyebrows are furrowed. Jimin’s eyes shift back to Namjoon, he slowly lifts his hand and keeps it on little of Namjoon’s thigh. Namjoon looks back at him in surprise.

  
Jimin’s eyes are droopy from tiredness as he speaks, “hyung…”

After few seconds he realizes he doesn’t have anything more to say so he shifts his focus on his hand on Namjoon’s thigh. Unable to form any words he rests his head on Namjoon’s shoulders, his eyes immediately shut on their own and his lips part in little sigh. What was he even going to say? He is still not sure of his own feelings. The only thing he knows is he wants Namjoon to stay with him for his entire life, he wants him to be there by his side, no he doesn’t want him, he needs him, without Namjoon he would be lost, lost in those waves and his ship would probably get loss in that storm, nobody would ever find him again, he will be alone in vast sea having no one…

  
He must be dreaming because he feels warmth of human touch on his hand, he opens eyes slowly to find Namjoon’s hand resting on his. He shivers when Namjoon’s thumb slowly caress his knuckles. He doesn’t dare to lift his head as Namjoon keep stroking his hand gently. He feels Namjoon squeezing his hand little.

  
“Jimin”, Namjoon whispers.

  
Jimin only lets out small grunt in return.  
He feels Namjoon turning his head towards him and whispering on top of head some of which is muffled into his hairs, “Let’s go home”

  
Jimin doesn’t know what hits him, whether it’s about Namjoon asking him or because he feels like he has finally found home after being lost in ocean but something about it brings tears into his eyes, he blinks fast so they don’t come out, he looks up this time and finds himself melting because of the way Namjoon is looking at him.

  
His eyes are gentle filled with so much of affection and care, if Jimin doesn’t know any better, he would say there’s love too.  
He thinks about all moves he still has to master, they wouldn’t get much time tomorrow because of other schedules, he might not get enough time to practice next week so he shouldn’t waste time now in sleeping but Namjoon’s eyes are so convincing, he knows he wont be able to say no.

  
Namjoon, the one who always know what goes through Jimin’s head, assures him, “How about we practice some more tomorrow evening, I will talk with manager hyungs to spare us some time”

  
“Come on get up”, Namjoon tugs at Jimin’s hand and Jimin feels sad because getting would mean losing this moment to be around Namjoon, to feel his calming touch, to talk about their last discussion.

  
Jimin still agrees and they all get ready to leave, Namjoon isn’t holding Jimin’s hand anymore but he has rested hand on small of Jimin’s back. Just as they are about past reception, Namjoon’s phone rings, halting them all. Jimin tries not to feel anxious as Namjoon ends phone with ‘m coming’

  
“Yoongi hyung has finished melody so we can work on song right now, I need to go”. He tells Hoseok and manager, he looks at Jimin, “I will be back in morning”, he says looking back to Hoseok, “you guys take rest, I will bring Yoongi hyung in morning”

  
Jimin feels betrayed as his eyes moisten again and he knows it stupid of course Namjoon would have to stay back, he has to make music with Yoongi, after all he is doing all that hard work for bangtan so what if they haven’t talked in days and Jimin was ready to open his heart tonight.

  
Hoseok warns Namjoon before grabbing Jimin’s hand to leave, “you guys take rest in between, next week will be tiresome also grab something to eat from vending machine”

  
Namjoon nods back with small smile and pats Jimin’s shoulder, “Good night”

  
He disappears in hallways as Jimin is standing there looking back in direction he left, he wonders if he would ever be able to talk about his feelings.

Jimin goes back to dorm with heavy heart and teary eyes.Hoseok doesn’t pester him for any details as Jimin goes straight to bed after coming home, after turning and twisting for about half hour Jimin unlocks his phone, there lies text from Namjoon.

  
“Sleep well minnie, good night”

  
Jimin smiles to himself before locking phone back and snuggling into covers.

  
\------------------------------------

  
Jimin feels his bed dip and someone resting their arm over him. He groans little before turning on his side, “tae, I came late last night let me sleep more”

  
“I am not here to wake you up”

  
Jimin opens his eyes wide in surprise, he sits up immediately to see Namjoon lying beside him, “Hyung? when did you come back?”

  
Namjoon looks back at him in confusion, “ ten minutes back now can we sleep please, I didn’t get any sleep night because Yoongi hyung found his productive charm in middle of night, we finished two songs in one night”, Namjoon sounds happy but also tired as picks up Jimin’s pillow and use for himself.  
Jimin is definitely exaggerating its nothing new they have slept in each other’s bed before, Hoseok’s bed is right beside Jimin’s but Namjoon didn’t went on that bad despite it being empty maybe because he doesn’t want to mess up Hoseok’ s neatly made bed. Jimin checks his phone, it says 7.30 am and they have to be ready at 10 am to leave for photoshoot.

  
He looks down to see Namjoon staring at him with neutral expressions, he slowly lies back down meeting Namjoon’s eyes. They continue to stare at each other for some time before Namjoon closes his eyes drapes one arm over Jimin to bring him close. Jimin stiffens but lets Namjoon tuck him near. When Namjoon rests his head over Jimin’s and his hand tightens around Jimin, he finally feels confident enough to wrap his arm around Namjoon’s waist.

  
He hears Namjoon letting out sigh, “I missed cuddling with you”

  
Jimin wants to say it back, he wants to explain how much he missed cuddling with Namjoon, how he missed being little spoon on his sad days or how much he wanted to comfort Namjoon by being big spoon, how much he wanted crash into his bed in middle of night, he missed being in embrace of Namjoon, he missed that warmth, he missed feeling home.

  
He wants to say it all but Namjoon’s soft snores hold him back. He smiles to himself before nuzzling in Namjoon’s throat and tightening his hold around Namjoon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave kudos and comments if you liked this chapter

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos and Comments will be appreciated.  
> I am ever ready to talk about Minjoon, so if any of y'all ever want to talk about their moments hit me up on twitter at @luviskimNamjoon


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